Twelve years or so ago, I met the man I would marry. The reason I’m thinking about that?
Today is our wedding anniversary. We have a date planned this evening, so after I write this entry I’m going to skedaddle to try and make myself pretty. But first… I feel like reminiscing.
We hadn’t known each other that long when he told me, “Within two years, I’m going to marry you.”
To which I said, “Schyeah, right.”
Imagine his immense satisfaction when we were standing before the minister in Vegas within the time frame he’d specified. At the time, I had a bad dye job, and I’d gotten my hair cut off in a fit of pique. In the old days, when I was upset, I ran off to the salon and got a terrible haircut. Now, I don’t even remember why I got the cut. I’ve since learned to curb that awful impulse, but back then, my hair was short and orange-blond. In my wedding picture, no less. Why’d he marry me when I looked like such a fright?
He loved me.
Marriage has so many cycles. There are highs and lows, points where you seem to fight every weekend, and periods where you don’t talk at all. Sometimes you wonder what made you choose to hook yourself to a crazy person for the rest of your lives. Sometimes you think, “Oh my god, I will never have sex with anyone else, ever.” The longer you’re married, the less this happens, I think. Or at least, that’s been the case for me.
Sometimes I curl up at night and admire the way his hair curls against his neck, the way he smells fresh from the shower, and the way he knows how to exert exactly the right amount of pressure when he’s running his fingers down my back right before I fall asleep. Sometimes I’m happy to realize I’ll never to have look for a date for a function, never have to go through an awkward breakup again. I take comfort in the way he knows what to get me from Starbucks on Sunday morning without even asking (White Mocha Frappuccino and a blueberry muffin).
And sometimes when we’re out to dinner with the whole family, I see the way his eyes return to me even when I’m not talking. It’s the hand he puts over mine, the arm he wraps around my shoulders, like he wants people to know I belong to him. The magic of building a life together is looking forward to stolen kisses and laughing when the kids go “ew” when they catch us. It’s him coming into the kitchen a little too late and asking, “Can I do anything to help?” Then we both laugh because his timing is impeccable.
I know he wants very much to make me happy, but sometimes he doesn’t know how. And I don’t always make it easy because I must regretfully admit to being one of those women. I don’t want to tell him what’s wrong with me, why I’m sad, or what I need to fix it. When I’m upset, I think, entirely irrationally, that “if he loved me, he’d know.” Which I know is wrong, and I’m working on that. I will also confess that on occasion, I’ve actually said, “You know what you did” when he expresses confusion as to why he’s in trouble. I’m working on that too.
There have been successes and failures between us, but we’re still together. I’m pleased with where we are. And I’m really, really proud of him. Some of you may not know this, but our family runs a pharmaceutical company here in Mexico. Here is their mission:
“To make the best quality medicines at affordable prices for the entire population”
They want to make health care accessible. To that end, they’ve instituted a program with their pharmacy franchise, where they keep a doctor on staff. He sees patients for a nominal fee (20 pesos, which is less than $2). Bruluart basically eats the doctors salary, and then the patients can purchase their required medicines from the pharmacy on site.
My husband is part of that. They manufacture medicines for the government for clinics and hospitals. He’s helping to make the world a better place. So when he tells me that his day was boring and he doesn’t have any glamorous news to report, I tell him I’m proud of him. See, he’s helping the sick and making health care accessible to the impoverished whereas I just write stories.
Happy anniversary, Andres.
June 9th, 2008 at 10:38 am
Aww… what a beautiful post. Happy Anniversary to both of you!
June 9th, 2008 at 10:50 am
Happy anniversary! And many more wonderful, happy years to you both.
Denise A. Agnew
http://www.deniseagnew.com
June 9th, 2008 at 11:04 am
happy happy anniversary!!!!!
THrowing confetti for you
June 9th, 2008 at 11:07 am
We’re going to a Greek place down in Polanco. Hope traffic isn’t too bad.
June 9th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Happy Anniversary, Anne! What a lovely post
June 9th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
That is very sweet. You have me sniffling!
June 9th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
But that should be a smiley face sniffle above
June 9th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Shelli, exactly! We need a misty but happy smiley for this kind of posts…
Ann, les deseo lo mejor a los dos, hoy y simpre. Feliz aniversario! *hug*
June 9th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Happy Anniversary.
June 9th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
Happy anniversary, Ann!
June 9th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Happy Anniversary, Ann!
June 9th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Congratulations Ann! What a thoughtful and moving tribute to your husband….
Funny you should post about this today. I was contemplating similar thoughts about my husband this morning on my looong drive into work! Our 21st anniversary is Saturday.
May you both have the best time ever!
June 9th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Happy Anniversary Ann and Andres!
June 9th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Thank you so much for all the good wishes. I was out running errands. Bought a few things to polish myself up for tonight and was so touched to come home to find all this warmth waiting for me.
June 9th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
Happy Anniversary Ann and Andres!
Hugs, Danette
June 9th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
Yeah, Happy Anniversary Ann!! That was a beautiful post even to a happily divorced woman like me!! LOL
June 9th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
Happy Anniversary Ann and Andres!
I hope you have a wonderful evening and your post was absolutely beautiful!
June 9th, 2008 at 7:48 pm
There comes a time, sooner or later, when you look back upon your life and wonder, ‘huh. How the heck did I get here?’
It may be an epiphany. It may be that sudden… shard of clarity wherein you feel poised on the edge of realization, only to fall back into old habits or forward into a life change.
Or it may be, simply, seeing the woman you love looking like a million bucks and knowing- just *knowing*- she’s invaluable. And being able to say, ‘oh… right. I’m home…’ when you realize there’s nowhere else you’d rather be.
Happy Anniversary, Ann, love.
June 9th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
Awwwwwwww, my goodness Ann, now we know why you’ve been married to this one for so long. So sweet.
June 9th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Awww, that sounds so wonderful Ann.
June 9th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
You guys are making me cry!
(but it’s a smiling crying smiley
)
June 10th, 2008 at 4:50 am
Happy anniversary!
June 10th, 2008 at 9:21 am
I figured you guys might like an update on last night.
I wore a long black skirt, a black camisole and a white and black evening jacket. Andres wore black slacks, dark blue shirt and a black and blue tie. My new lipstick is, in fact, kiss-proof. I highly recommend it.
The sitter arrived on time and we drove down to Polanco in the rain. The Greek place turned out not to be where we thought it was, so we went to an old favorite of ours: Thai Gardens. The valet took the car and the guard ushered us into the restaurant beneath his blue and white striped umbrella. Because of the weather, the place was nearly deserted.
The decor is a magical mix of creamy marble and dark wood, interspersed with live bamboo and whispering fountains. We were seated and found there was only one other couple inside besides the staff and they left shortly. For the duration of our stay, we had a private, catered meal in a lavish setting.
We ate Mee Krob, chicken satay, dumplings, shrimp, and spring rolls to start, then the main course included pad thai (my favorite), shrimp and asparagus, Thai fried rice, spicy beef in oyster sauce, and ginger chicken. We always just get dinner for two where they bring you a wide variety of dishes to sample. Much better than trying to narrow it down to two entrees! The food is always delicious.
We toasted each other with champagne and talked for hours. Then we drove back home through the rain, paid the sitter, tucked the kids in bed, and snuggled up on the couch to watch a movie together.
I can safely say this was the best anniversary we ever had.
June 10th, 2008 at 11:10 am
Yay for you guys! Here’s wishing you many more, each happier than the last!
June 10th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Aww… what a sweet comment from Andres.
Oh I LOVE Thai food. Your meal sounds awesome. I love everything you guys ordered. Pad See Ew is another favorite. Did the Thai Fried Rice have pineapple in it? omg yum. Who else is hungry now?
So glad you had such a wonderfully celebrated anniversary, Ann.
June 10th, 2008 at 6:07 pm
Isn’t this why, ladies, we all read romance? What a lovely post by the two of you. May your love continue to grow and thrive.
June 11th, 2008 at 10:58 am
Awww, what a lovely post and a wonderful comment from your dude. Happy belated anniversary, hon, may you two have many, many more!