At the last several conferences / conventions I’ve attended, I’ve heard that I look young. Like, OMG, how have you written so many books already, young. At first I dismissed said comments as kindness and flattery, but the same remarks have come from such a diverse population, fans, authors, readers, random woman on a plane, random woman in a bookstore, that I am starting to think it’s true. I have no objective ability to measure how I look, young or old or somewhere in between. Frankly, I’m not worried about it anymore. I’ve been with the same man for… God, going on fourteen years? So it’s not like I’m polishing my womanly bits and hoping I still got it.
Recently I turned 39. I thought I would be upset, the closer I got to 40, but it’s not bugging me at all. I’ve never been happier or more fulfilled in my life. My kids are great, my husband is great, and my career is rocking. So I certainly wouldn’t change a thing, nor wish away a single year that brought me to where I am today.
That said, Helen Kay Dimon said on Twitter today: “I’m thinking you need to share your secrets because I never would have said 39.”
Well, okay. I’d laugh at the idea of sharing beauty tips because that’s not my forte, but people seem interested, and I’m all about giving folks what they want. Well, mostly. Most of you already know my worst job ever — I was a clown– but we’re not talking about that today. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts!
Anyhow. Growing up, I had a bad complexion, spots all over the place. I wore heavy makeup to cover it and that just made it worse. It was a never-ending cycle. Get spots, put on makeup, cover spots, make spots worse. In my 20s, I had some babies and I was just too tired to bother covering up all the spots. As it turned out, makeup was causing a lot of my trouble. It seals your pores and makes it impossible for skin to breathe and heal. I’m not talking about a fix in a week, mind you. It took months for my skin to recover from all the damage. From that point, I stopped wearing makeup except on special occasions. I do wear it at cons but not as much as I wore as a teen and I’m careful about the kind I buy, now. I don’t use it to cover up all my faults, but accentuate the good aspects of my face.
As for skin care regime, I got some advice when I was a kid from my Aunt Wilma. It was worth taking because even though she was in her 60s, she had the most gorgeous complexion and hardly any wrinkles at all. She told me this: “Never use store bought soap on your face. Use only handmade soaps. Never use paper products on your face. Only wash with your fingertips or high quality cotton.” She belonged to a religious sect known as the Friends; they’re also known as Quakers, I think. She was a sweet woman, and she was always very good to me, despite my heathen ways. So presented with her lovely face as evidence that her techniques worked, I have followed her guidelines.
I wash my face with my fingertips. If I’m breaking out around that time of the month, I use a homemade oatmeal soap. Other times, I use almond milk soap for cleaning and moisturizing. I don’t put on makeup on a daily basis, and if I’m going to be out in the sun, I use a high quality SPF lotion. I’ve also never done much tanning because as a teen I saw a special about skin cancer. Talk about horrifying. So that sun aversion probably contributes to my appearance as well. Living in Mexico, I do get more sun than I did in the Midwest, so I suspect that color helps some as well. I’m no longer pasty white, but more of a gentle bisque. I tend to think if you’re too white it ages you, but if you go the other way and drop on a crazypants bronze, it makes you look weathered. Moderation is good.
About once a week, I use Nivea AntiWrinkle Night Cream, Q10 or something. I don’t use it every night because it’s strong and it can be easy to damage the skin the other way, by doing too much to it in hopes of hanging onto one’s youth. I find that once a week keeps my face nice and hydrated, YMMV. I don’t peel or Botox or anything like that. I do want to age gracefully and not wind up with a face that can’t show what I’m feeling.
The funny part about all this is that when I was in my 20s (with a toddler and a baby), people thought I was ten to fifteen years older than I was. So I feel like now I’m getting a second chance! I really think exhaustion and small children can age you prematurely, not to be a smart-ass. The older your kids get, the better you’ll look, most likely, because they’re no longer draining the life out of you. If you’re not getting enough rest, it will show in your face somewhere. I’ve found cold, used green tea bags to be a great help in making my eyes looking better after a shitty night.
Other minor things: haircuts can definitely add or remove years. I still wear my hair like I did when I was 11. Long, with bangs. I’m not looking forward to the day when I have to give up my favorite style in order to adopt a matron cut. In fact, I may do what my Aunt Wilma did, which was simply never cut it. She took to wearing a bun in her later years or some other pretty, complicated up-do styles. I’m not a Quaker, but I think a coronet of braids is freaking gorgeous on an older woman. Regardless, I don’t foresee giving up my funky stripes anytime soon either.
I don’t know if anybody will find this helpful or interesting, but here you go, asked and answered. Do y’all have beauty tips to share?
August 31st, 2009 at 2:27 pm
Like you I’m blessed with a pretty decent set of genes
I never had a lot of trouble as a teen–probably had more after kids and into my late 30’s when hormones went nuts, but anyway…best skin I ever had, bar none, was when I gave up wheat for like a year (long story). 
Srsly. I STILL don’t eat a lot of bread but pasta is the downfall so I try to keep an eye on it and the skin still looks pretty decent.
One last tip, I also moisturize religiously–especially in the winter cuz then my skin is just gross.
August 31st, 2009 at 2:40 pm
“The older your kids get, the better you’ll look, most likely, because they’re no longer draining the life out of you.”
LOL. What a great post! There’s hope for me yet.
August 31st, 2009 at 3:51 pm
I always get the you can’t be 38 thing, too.
And I haven’t ever been real rough on my skin~~but I do use ROC on the corners of my eyes and lips about twice a week, and use Mark Kay’s soothing eye gel daily under and around my eyes. I work nights, so I tend to look really worn down around my eyes if they don’t get pepped up some. I try to make sure I drink at least 1 to 2 bottles of water a day. My Mom swears by it, that it makes all the difference in your skin.
August 31st, 2009 at 4:02 pm
lol my mom must have some good tips - her (new) coworkers thought she was in her 30s when she was in her later 50s. People on the phone still ask to speak to my mommy or daddy, and at certain jobs, people have asked if I’m lost as well.
Of course, people always think I’m older than my [older] sister, so that makes me very sad.
August 31st, 2009 at 4:10 pm
You look fabulous. It’s a definite compliment. When we’re 50 and I look 80 and you still look like you haven’t reached 39 I will likely hate you, but until then…
August 31st, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Ann, I’m 39 too. We are like totally twins! 39 Year Old Virgos
I too am blessed with good genes, my parents DO NOT look their ages.
I don’t wear makeup either. Just on special occasions.
August 31st, 2009 at 6:34 pm
I would suggest not using products with a high alcohol content and not sleeping on your face.
August 31st, 2009 at 7:10 pm
On Twitter, I had a couple of requests for my homemade soap recipe. I so totally wish I was a crafty person because I -love- homemade stuff. Soap, lotion, perfume, purses, scarves… I love that stuff. But I have very little talent or aptitude for doing such things myself. Which is why I’m a total slut for Etsy, and that leads me to my next point.
If you want good, homemade soap, the best places (I’ve found) to locate it is on Etsy.com or Ebay.com. I have bought some lovely soaps from SoapBlackBear on Ebay: http://myworld.ebay.com/soapblackbear
Right now she has no items for sale, but I’ve bought from Etsy too. You’re looking for natural ingredients, though, and very light lye, if any. The ingredients should be natural, like, shea butter, coconut oil, glycerine, and that sort of thing. You want a soap that lathers up nicely without ransacking your skin. If you see a lot of chemical ingredients that you don’t know what they are or what they do, then you don’t want that soap, even if it’s homemade. Any soapmaker will be happy to answer your questions before you buy, too.
Oatmeal and honey or a citrus soap is excellent for oily skin care. I like almond milk for all other times, but as long as you read the description of the soap and what’s it in, you should be good. You might be surprised at how little it costs to buy excellent handmade products.
August 31st, 2009 at 7:12 pm
Well Ann, you did see the goiter on my face in DC….it was massive….cripes, I have more acne now than when I was a teen. I moisturize a lot, every night and day only wear makeup when I need to get dressed up. And I use toothpaste on said goiters when they arise…..and don’t evah pick em……
August 31st, 2009 at 8:08 pm
I can’t believe your 39, I thought I was older than you by 10+ years. Your doing an amazing job.
I think drinking plenty of water is key to good skin also. I quit drinking cokes for nearly ten years now.
Thanks for the soap information!!
August 31st, 2009 at 8:42 pm
Hm. Maybe you’re moisturizing too much and that’s contributing to the complexion trouble? Too much cream can be as bad as not enough. I’m not a dermatologist by any means, however! So please take my advice with a grain of salt.
September 1st, 2009 at 2:57 am
LOL it could be Ann! You should also mention that you have very funky hair and its way cool too!
September 1st, 2009 at 12:37 pm
Very cool, Ann! I’m a teensy bit older than you (about to hit 40), and am blessed with fairly good genes. My one change due to age is I’ve finally started wearing sunscreen every day. And I have noticed that my skin isn’t what it used to be, alas