My husband and I just celebrated thirteen years of marriage. I know it doesn’t seem that long to some people, but considering the rate of divorce surrounding us, it feels like an accomplishment to my husband and I.
We are really different, he and I. I’m introverted and quiet. I only speak unless I have something to say. When I make friends, I tend to make them for life–I don’t flit. He’s loud and outgoing and a bit bossy. He has lots of friends, but the relationships are a bit more superficial than mine tend to be. Many are the times he tries to plow over me and tell me what to do, making me dig in my heels and stand my ground (with him, I have to be strong. He keeps me that way.) I love to read, he doesn’t. I love to talk about politics and religion and deeper sorts of issues, he doesn’t. I’m emotional, he’s not. He loves to go out and be around other people, I don’t. We are opposites in lots of different ways.
But we share plenty of common ground, too, and over the years we’ve both grown and changed…together. Like the limbs of a tree growing closer, rather than further apart. Little bit by little bit, the alignment of our personalities has grown stronger.
There were rocky times, times that another couple probably would’ve used to say goodbye, but love kept us together. We worked through the rough spots, coming out the other side of them stronger for it, more in sync, and closer. Yes, we are very different, but we have an understanding of the other person and a genuine appreciation. We give each other the qualities we don’t possess ourselves–two halves of a whole. Over the years I’ve adopted some of the aspects of his personality and he’s adopted some of mine.
Maybe that’s why I tend to pair opposites in my books. I like the idea of two very different people coming together, finding a bit of common ground, finding a deep and abiding love, and building a house with a solid foundation on it. That’s what we’ve done in our marriage, after all.
All I know is that I’m thankful for my husband and I wouldn’t trade his loud, brash, bossy self for anyone. He is my partner through this life, my very best friend and best companion, the one I want to grow old with. Out of anyone in the world, he knows me the best…maybe even better than I think I know myself.
~*~
The winner of Strands of Sunlight, chosen randomly from the comments of my last Bradford Bunch post, is Cheryl M! Congrats, Cheryl! Please drop me an email at anyabast (at) gmail.com with your format preference and I’ll send the book to you when I get my author copies.
Mark your calendars for September 10th! That’s the day a large month-long contest will be starting on my blog. I’ll be giving away a book a day every day for a month, including novels from authors you might know from here–Lauren Dane, Vivi Anna, Cynthia Eden and Ann Aguirre, for example. I’ll also be giving away a large grand prize. It will be worth checking out!
August 19th, 2008 at 7:55 am
congrats on your wedding anniversary….I know what you mean….my hubby and I have been married for 13 years and together for 20….and we’re the minority it seems!
August 19th, 2008 at 9:17 am
Congrats on 13 yrs, Anya! That’s fantastic. My anniversary is next month. I think this is 17 for us. (Shhh…don’t tell anyone, I was a child bride.
) My hubby and I are opposites, too, and like you, I like to write opposites as well. What’s the fun in writing or living with someone who’s just like you?
August 19th, 2008 at 9:25 am
Again, congratulations on your anniversary.
Denise A. Agnew
August 19th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
awwww Anya, that’s awesome! Loud, brash, bossy men are the BEST! And yes, 13 years is a major accomplishment in our world. What’s an even bigger accomplishment is being HAPPY together after that time.
Lots of couples stay together for appearances, for the kids, or because they’re too damn lazy and comfy to get a divorce. It says a lot when a couple has stayed together because they’re in love.
My husband and I are both Aries, so it’s um…interesting to say the least, but I’m crazy in love with him. (7 years marriage this New Year’s.)
August 19th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Happy Real Life Love, Anya, and Sexy Super Secret Agent Man. I can attest that these two are a lovely couple, and SSSAM is like totally a keeper. He took care of us when we all went out for supper one night at RT.
August 19th, 2008 at 11:51 pm
Anya, I believe that we need to have time to do our own thing as well as time we have that we do things together. I think that love just keeps growing as the years go by. With just passing 25 years anniversary in June, we still laugh that we haven’t even gone out for a dinner yet. We’ve gone to other family/friend who had special celebrations for these big years, but we always though each day is a celebrations. We continue to smile when we see each other come home, never missing that kiss goodbye in the morning or when ever he goes anywhere (He was once about halfway into his trip to the store and came back because all he could think about what that he forgot to kiss me goodbye). Sure we may have a day once in a while where we disagree, maybe even become quiet with each other, but it always hurts when we do it and we come back stronger together!