Welcome Elisabeth! Fellow Bradford-Buncher, fabulous writer, and all around great gal! It’s lovely to have you here!
The Dreaded Know-It-All
Things to Remember On Loops, When Blogging, and, Especially, In Person
Thanks to Marissa for letting me guest-blog for her today. It’s fun to be with the Bradford Bunch!
When I first started writing, I was a loop junkie. At the time, blogs were new and I, admittedly, didn’t know much about them. Writer’s loops were where I went to converse with other writers, to ask questions and to search for answers. Even though I was fairly green, it didn’t take long for me to pick out the bad apples in the group. You know the ones I’m talking about, those writers who know all there is to know about writing and publishing, the ones who are more than eager to pass on their oh-so valuable information, the ones who, somehow, are always online and, surprisingly, most of us have never heard of before.
I call it diarrhea of the mouth. We all know people like this outside the publishing industry: The uncle who still calls us by our childhood nickname and thinks it’s hilarious to retell the story of the time we peed our pants in public when we sat on Santa’s lap. The coworker we stupidly let read one of our earliest manuscripts who now blabs to everyone she meets about the porn we write. The neighbor who has the perfect yard and feels it’s his duty to instruct us on what we’re doing wrong with our grass each and every time we step out our front door. Lindsay Lohan’s character in Mean Girls (which I just rewatched this past weekend) called it Word Vomit. When things just spill out of our mouths without our brains keying in to what we’re saying. Honestly, we’re all guilty of it at one time or another, but when does it cross over from simply having an occasional episode of diarrhea of the mouth to turning into a full blown know-it-all?
Trust me when I say, you don’t want to be known as the Know-It-All of the writer’s world. I can name several writers from my early days on the loops who clearly came across as know-it-alls. Do I buy their books now? No way. And I tell my friends not to buy their books either. It wasn’t so much what they said but how they said it. In the way they argued their point like they were the supreme being of writing and selling. They may be the best writer in the world, but with an attitude like that, I don’t want to read any of their work. The question that stayed with me after an episode like this was always, what makes them think they’re experts anyway? At what point in publishing do you become an expert? After your first sale? After your fifth? How about once you hit that 35th book mark? When you hit the USA Today list? When you hit the NYT Bestseller list? What if you make it there but never hit another list again?
I have a very dear writer friend who is working on her 36th published book. What I love most about her isn’t her unending wisdom – though I do love that – but the fact that even after thirty-six books, she still doesn’t know it all. She has the same fears I do – will I sell this book? Will anyone want to read it? Will it progress my career or slow it? Am I a good writer? Each book is a challenge for her, and though she will answer any question posed to her and loves to talk about writing in general, she has never once come across as someone who has all the answers, even though I know she has a majority of them floating around inside that head of hers. Likewise, at the first RWA Conference I attended, I sat in on Nora Roberts’s chat, and a writer in the audience asked her, “How are you able to write such great books that hit the NYT list over and over? What’s your secret?” Nora, who I think we can all agree probably knows more about this industry than any of us, looked at this woman and said, “I don’t know. I just write.”
When you are blogging, on loops, and especially, talking with other writers in person, be mindful of what you say and how you say it. Writers have long memories. We know when you’re spewing word vomit and we know when you’re being genuine. This business is fickle, and the writers who are on top today could easily slide to the bottom tomorrow. You never know who’s listening to your diarrhea of the mouth, be they publishers, agents or the next Nora Roberts. The writers who are honest and helpful and who are truly trying to bolster other writers instead of simply promoting themselves are the ones we will continue to buy from and talk up to all our friends. And really, isn’t that our ultimate goal as writers? To have as many people as possible read and buy our books?
I think so. I hope so. Because from my view point, there isn’t a single advantage to being the one person in the world who thinks she knows everything there is to know about writing and publishing.
Have you ever had a run-in with a know-it-all writer, and if so, how did you handle it?
November 30th, 2007 at 8:54 am
[...] Original post by The Bradford Bunch [...]
November 30th, 2007 at 9:14 am
Great post, and it’s so true! When I talk to, or see a know-it-all on a loop I just generally ignore them. It’s tough to, especially when they are insisting that so-and-so publisher is dying for vampires, when that editor just said on his or her blog that they don’t want to see another vampire as long as they live. I want to say something, so others aren’t led astray. But I figure everyone has to learn for themselves who is full of it, and who isn’t.
November 30th, 2007 at 10:02 am
Well said, Eli!
I’ve had a couple of run-ins with people who believe they know everything. When I was a newbie, I thought they were Gods and did know everything, but as I progressed in my writing, attended more and more events, I realized- No one, and I mean not even the people who write how-to books, or publishers, or agents know everything about writing a book. There are so many factors that go into a good book that there is no right or wrong way.
Now, when I run into one of those people, I tend to (if on a loop) hit the delete button and if they are in person, I smile and nodded and think about the project I’m working on.
November 30th, 2007 at 10:21 am
Welcome to our friendly blog.
Even though I sometimes feel like an old bird in publishing, I don’t think there will ever be a day when I feel I know it all. Why? Because publishing is an extremely subjective, creative endeavor and so is writing the book in the first place. In fact, the more I’m around publishing the more I sometimes think I know absolutely nothing about it. There are things I definitely know, but I think not only can I learn something new every day but there is always something to learn from the most gracious people in this industry. By the way, I love that movie MEAN GIRLS and word vomit is a great descriptor. LOL.
Anyhoo, I digress. Yes, I have met know it alls in the publishing world, but then I’ve met them all my life in other industries, so I can’t say I’m surprised to find them in the writing world either. They are everywhere. LOL!
Denise A. Agnew
November 30th, 2007 at 11:41 am
Elisabeth, you are so right. Mean girls are out there and they are vicious… I try to avoid them at all costs because I’m such a wussy girl Snort.
November 30th, 2007 at 12:13 pm
You’re right, Lisa. Everyone does have to learn for themselves. What one writer experiences with an editor or agent might be completely different for another writer. We’ve all heard Vampire books are overdone, yet pubs still buy them. Why? Because every writer does it differently. I absolutely hate hearing set-in-stone advice from know-it-all writers when we all *know* anything can happen in this business.
November 30th, 2007 at 12:15 pm
That’s the best reaction, Paty. To smile and nod. We should all practice that because you’re right. They ARE out there.
November 30th, 2007 at 12:18 pm
Thanks for having me, Denise.
It’s fun to be with other Bradford clients. I enjoy this blog and have really gotten a lot out of it since it started.
It’s interesting to hear you say sometimes you think you know nothing. I feel like that a lot. I know I’ve learned oodles since I started, but there are days I feel completely green, even now. Surrounding yourself with others in the industry (writers, agents, etc.) who are supportive and helpful is so completely important in my opinion.
November 30th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
LOL, Marissa. You’re right, mean girls are out there, but you have to admit, they do add fodder to our character sketches, don’t they?
November 30th, 2007 at 1:45 pm
Hey, Eli, great subject for a blog.
I am so pleased you referred to me as a “dear friend.” Makes me smile ear to ear. Unless you were talking about someone else in which case, uh, oops. Although it did sound like me what with the worrying about everything!
Who in the world likes a know-it-all? They are insufferable! And it always amazes me how clueless they are. They corner us at parties and talk about their book ideas or gardens or children (groan) and we shuffle our feet and look everywhere but in their eyes and still they prattle on and on. The good thing about Internet know-it-all’s is the off button on the computer.
Because, like you said, no one knows everything and most the time, I’m not sure anyone knows anything. I get rude comments from family members about how I flip flop. It seems I can often see both sides of most issues. I used to decry my lack of focus and then I decided that what it really means is that I can understand different POVs and that’s a handy thing to be able to do when your passion is writing fiction. Right? (I am practicing for Christmas when the subject of dune buggies on the beach comes up. Con. I think. Maybe pro. No, con.)
I loved Mean girls, too. Tina Fey is a jewel.
November 30th, 2007 at 3:38 pm
I am not a writer, but I belong to a few loops and have heard word spewing.
I do not belong to those loops now.
No matter how long a writer has been writing, I think, there is always something new to learn.
November 30th, 2007 at 3:50 pm
Hi, Elisabeth! Great post. And I KNOW that I’m generally a pretty clueless gal.
There is so much that I need/want to learn about this industry.
November 30th, 2007 at 4:46 pm
Okay, I should qualify my silly comment on clueless because in rereading this, I am aghast. I mean, I have cornered people and talked about stuff without knowing I was boring the socks off of them until later. So, waving hand, guilty here. Rewrite!
It’s the expert advice givers I meant, the people who force their opinions on others, who dominate a conversation and a situation without respect for other people. A little humility goes a long way, witness Nora Roberts as you pointed out.
November 30th, 2007 at 4:48 pm
ROFL, Alice. The cat is out of the bag.
Thanks for stopping by, dear friend.
You’re right. The internet know-it-alls are silenced by the off button. Not so in real life. Last week I got stuck in the McDonalds playland at a table next to a woman who spent a half an hour telling me about her gifted children and her middle school son who has a 140+ IQ. Then she went on and on about her 6 yr old who is the “dumb” one in the family and how he’s ONLY reading chapter books in Kindergarten. I about word vomited all over the table, but somehow I restrained myself. Unfortunately, there wasn’t an “off” button for this woman, and I suffered. Actually, now that I think about it, I’ll take an internet know-it-all over that any day.
November 30th, 2007 at 4:49 pm
Estella, unfortunately, that’s what happens. I’m not active on those loops I mentioned either - not after the know-it-alls overtook them. It’s sad too, because there were some really great people there.
And I agree, a writer never stops learning.
November 30th, 2007 at 4:53 pm
Hi Cynthia.
It’s been fun being here today. Thanks again for having me.
Cluelessness loves company.
Glad I’m not alone.
December 1st, 2007 at 7:59 am
What! :-O I don’t know everything? EEK. Snort… ROFL. Seriously, those kinds of people (and I know a few) annoy me to all get out. They may know what works for them but that doesn’t necessarily work for me.
Thanks so much, again, Elisabeth for guest blogging.
December 1st, 2007 at 5:49 pm
Great post, Elizabeth!
This business is not a sure thing for anyone. If a writer starts to feel comfortable enough in this business to act the know-it-know…. Heh. They better watch out.
December 6th, 2007 at 2:14 pm
Hey Elizabeth,
Not sure how I got here but felt like after getting this far that I had to enter a comment! LOL. I loved reading your “blog”. I must declare this is my first. I guess you can say I’m a “virgin blogger”. I know this is probably a daily routine for you. However, I continued to be amazed by your talent!! You really “know it all”. In a good way of course.